What Liz Said

Dear Diary,

Once upon a time, in a land far far away called Maryland, there lived a pup named Horatio.  Horatio was the cutest pup of them all.  Fluffy and prone to romping was he.

Then one day, Horatio’s Mom and Dad decided he needed a haircut, because they apparently felt the need to ruin perfection.

That’s right, kids, I got a haircut.  Ha ha. Very funny.  I look like a freakish skinny monkey hopping all over the place.  No fluff that inspires cuddles.  I can’t pull the “Aw he looks like a stuffed animal!” card either to get out of punishments for winkies on the floor.

It wasn’t so much a grooming as it was a shearing.  No style.  No class.  No fur.  The shampoo was generic.  GENERIC.  Ugh.

Mom and Dad showed up early to pick me up, and saw me getting groomed.  They coo’d and aww’d on the other side of the glass while I shivered with a stranger who was obviously hellbent on making me the laughing stock of the puppy world.

Mom and Dad are such assholes.

Bones,

Horatio