I have come to terms with the fact that, given my gender, I am predisposed to liking certain inexplicably trashy television shows such as Gossip Girl and The Hills. Let’s face it, the latter is seriously about a half an hour of awkward looks and silences, sipping of Starbucks, and about 10 minutes of actual dialogue. The former is Dawson’s Creek on crack with a boob job and a better closet; they’re all miniature adults with a far superior vocabulary than myself and… well… a better closet. Not to mention they were gettin’ busy much more than I was in high school.
In spite of the obvious flaws, every Monday night you’ll find me on our couch going on about how Lo is such a bitch, and how I can’t wait for the catfight between Serena and Blair.
While some might say the true victims in this situation are my brain cells, I must throw in a little shout out to the true heroes of the evening: the live-in boyfriend who, week after week, endures our tirades about people who either (a) don’t exist, or (b) couldn’t spell their way out of a shoebox, or spell “shoebox” for that matter.
Every Monday, without fail, it’s the Eternal Couple Struggle for television supremacy. We barter television shows like wares.
“I’ll give you two South Park’s for Gossip Girl,” etc.
Patrick, while he’ll beg for me to wait until he’s in bed to catch up on my shows, is overall a very good sport about the whole process.
As a result, Patrick is beginning to suffer from what many men in his position suffer from: Unwitting Fan Syndrome. No matter how loud he turns up the volume on his laptop headphones, or how into his game of Facebook Scrabble he gets, I’ll catch him peaking up from time to time. A furtive glance here, an interested gaze there…
This capturing of his attention is somehow vindicating. I didn’t ASK to be completely sucked in; it just happened.
Then comes the commentary. The following occurred just last night during a viewing of The Hills. Patrick was hiding behind his laptop, acting as if just one look in the direction of the television would infect him with some sort of TV-AIDS. Then he opened his mouth.
“God, Spencer is such an asshole.”
“I thought you didn’t care!”
“I… well, I don’t, but he’s still an asshole. He’s so controlling.”
Maybe it’s his way of coping. I don’t know. For Gossip Girl it’s become “The World According to Chuck Bass” for Patrick, although I’ve seen that trend among many guys I know, even if they won’t admit it.
It’s just nice to know I’m not the only one in our household who gets sucked in.
Hell, even Horatio watches those shows quietly from the couch from time to time, ears and gaze at attention… and he’s never quiet about anything.
14 Comments
October 7, 2008 at 11:09 am
I love this post. I have an inverse relationship with my girlfriend except concerning movies.
October 7, 2008 at 12:08 pm
My last boyfriend, who was practically live-in, learned not to give me grief when I’d say, “You go on and watch your (reality) shows, I’ll just read/get online in the other room.” At first he’d sulk that I didn’t want to share these things with him. Having had a lot more years (I’m not saying how many) of television watching under my belt than he did, he soon found out that my sarcastic comments were non-stop and relentless, and that every one of my show predictions were right. Reality, my ass.
We’re no longer together, but every now and again I’m tempted to watch the first 5 minutes of ‘The Amazing Race’ and e-mail him my synopsis of how I think the episode’s going to turn out.
note to future self: Always have 2 tv rooms in the house.
October 7, 2008 at 12:34 pm
After reading your whole post my first thought is: G-d, I miss Dawsons Creek…hehe
October 7, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I LOVE unwitting fan syndrome! That’s excellent. I totally did that to my husband with Us Weekly.
October 7, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I have the biggest crush on chuck bass - seriously how can anyone like Spencer - why doesn’t Heidi dump him.
you have a good man - he is a keeper
October 7, 2008 at 1:17 pm
@Brian, I happen to know your non-stop commentary is relentless, whether there is a tv screen involved or not.
As for guilty pleasures, I occasionally would get sucked into the vortex of The Gilmore Girls back in the day. It was the rapid-fire witty dialog that got me.
October 7, 2008 at 2:39 pm
love that picture!
And yes, live in’s should win an award… I would add Project Runway to the list!
October 7, 2008 at 11:50 pm
ERIC DOES THIS TOO!
He totally gets into ANTM and Project Runway, I swear ;]
October 8, 2008 at 12:10 am
I love all of these shows and have become even more addicted to them since I got TiVo!
October 8, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Yes, my boyfriend and I definitely do this as well! Lately it’s been more fighting about whether to
A) watch (boring) political debates and such or
B) allow me to watch my “90210,” “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Ugly Betty”
But here’s the real kicker — we both demand silence from one another! He wants me to be quiet; I want him to be quiet. He can’t help mocking my beloved fictional characters; I can’t help mocking stodgy, out-of-touch politicians. Who can be the winner here? In my house, it’s whoever controls the TiVo remote.
October 8, 2008 at 5:45 pm
OMG, while I lack a BF for the TV show exchange I love, love, love GG! Serena is my girl! I savor the show with reckless abandon in full single girl glory.
October 9, 2008 at 11:38 am
Poor Patrick. I’ve been there. It’s a little like Stockholm Syndrome, without the hostage taking. On the other hand, who could possibly like what I like: dexter, Terminator (sarah conner chronicles), weeds…urgg.
J
http://adventuresinvoluntarysimplicity.blogspot.com/
October 9, 2008 at 8:54 pm
I once dated someone who insisted I watch the Redskins. And it wasn’t even the playoffs yet!!!
What we do for love!
October 10, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Herb…we’re kindred spirits!
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